Tag Archives: money

Oil Changes, Financial Freedom + Self-Love

As many of you know, I’ve been on a journey lately to heal my relationship with money. I knew it was time to write this post because as I sat down to write it, I really didn’t want to. Resistance. It’s a beautiful and VERY anxiety-provoking teacher. As Steven Pressfield writes in The War of Art, “The more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.” So here I am, writing about something I NEVER thought I’d be writing about, self-love and money.

Another thing I resist? Doing anything related to car maintenance. I know it’s ridiculous. It’s a very grown up and responsible thing that we automobile owners need to do. And why do I avoid anything related to cars? Simple: it makes me feel stupid. Disempowered. Small. Totally out of my element. Transmission fluid? Air filters? Alignment? Yeah, no thanks.

But one of my Core Desired Feelings this month is “Empowered.” I want to feel empowered and independent around my life circumstances and my responsibilities, especially the ones I’ve previously avoided.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m SUPER independent! I left home when I was 18 and moved 3,000 miles away from my family, I like doing things myself (sometimes to a fault…delegation is not my strong suit), and I’m not afraid or uncomfortable going places and having a great time on my own. Solo road trip? Hell yea! Exploring new cities on my own? Totally!

So the other day I decided it was time to get my oil changed. (Actually the sticker in the top left corner of my windshield SAID it was time.) As I sat in the waiting room, biting my nails, feeling small and super awkward, I realized here was a perfect instance of a lack of self-love.

In a moment of perfect synchronicity, I was sitting there reading Kate Northrup’s book Money: A Love Story so it hit me…*cue facepalm*…

There’s another area of my life in which I’ve always felt disempowered: MONEY. Budgeting, financial planning, accounting, bookkeeping? Nope. Again, major resistance. I’ve been working SO MUCH to cultivate more self-love in my own life, teaching self-love to my clients, so here was my chance to practice getting into my body, listening to my heart, and begin healing this part of me that felt inadequate.

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The major pattern in ALL of this? Avoidance. Burying my head in the sand and *fingers crossed* hoping things would somehow just work themselves out. It’s worked thus far, right? Kind of. Mostly. Not so much. So here are the new practices I’m implementing with deep commitment and intention to cultivate a LOVING relationship with my money…

1. Checking my balance. Making it a part of my daily routine, a ritual, even a spiritual practice in mindfulness, gratitude, and intention behind my conscious, daily choices.
2. Feeling gratitude. Feeling abundant isn’t about the amount of money in your bank account. It’s about the way you FEEL about the money in your account. When I check my balance now, I see the work I love doing. The clients and students I love working with. The fact that I get to live a purposeful life AND make money doing it!
3. Notice what I spend my money on. Not to create guilt and shame, but to make sure my purchases are in alignment with my values. You’ve heard it before: We vote with our dollars! So why would I invest my money (and therefore my energy) into businesses that don’t feel good to support.

I wrote out these action steps as I waited for my car to be ready, then got into my car feeling lighter, more conscious, and EMPOWERED!

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Heal Your Money Sh*t – Step 1: Release

Dear lightworkers, teachers, coaches, healers, and counselors,

How is your relationship with money?  Complicated?  Unhealthy?  Elusive?

For my entire life without realizing it I felt like money wasn’t for me.  Everyone else could have it, make it, save it, but not me.  I was destined to always just be scraping by, living paycheck-to-paycheck, and never able to afford the life that I dreamed of where I could travel the world AND still be able to do exactly the work I wanted to and that I was called to do.  In my mind, the alternative to being broke was to slave away at an office job that I hated for the rest of my life.

In our society, and especially in the healing arts world, it’s not generally acceptable to want money.  I used to think that if I was meant to have money, it would come to me at the right time.  Therefore if I didn’t have money, I must be doing something wrong.  Maybe I’m not meant to do this work?  Maybe I suck at it?  Maybe I don’t know enough?  Maybe I’m not old enough to be living my dream life AND make money doing it?

So many questions!  I kept looking to the “authority figures” in my life: parents, teachers, mentors.  I kept getting the same answer in different forms: “Keep working hard and it’ll all work out…but maybe get another job just for right now…”  Very well meaning but not very helpful.  My friends and colleagues were in a similar situation.  We’re all trying to follow our BIG dreams, all the while struggling to pay our rent and feed ourselves.  So many of us are stuck in this poverty mentality, looking for ways to cut our already-relatively-low costs. (Yes, we eat at Whole Foods but we can make that bag of organic brown rice last for weeks!) At the same time I’d look at friends I graduated college with who were working in a more traditional career and were able to afford the things they needed but whose souls weren’t being fed.  I wondered what their dreams were made of.

But can you imagine what would happen if all the wealth of the world was in the hands of the spiritually-centered?  If people were able to live their dream life?  The one we’ve been told is out of our reach because we’re not following the traditional path from college graduation to a job with a salary and a 401k?  What if everything you dream for yourself is possible and it all starts with healing your money story?  What if the things you’ve believed about your inability to make money, your limiting beliefs, were UNTRUE and you could do something that honored your values, passions, and talents?  Something that feeds your soul and makes you as much money as you want?

The first step to healing your money drama and to start making real money and living your dream is by doing the inner work.  Recognize patterns that you’re stuck in.  Release your story and be done with it.  Stop being a victim of your money, because money is ENERGY.  Energy is not good or bad, it just is.  It’s not elusive.  There’s a flow, an exchange, like an inhale and exhale.  When we start feeling bad for spending money on things that support us (like healthy food and self-care), it creates a low-level vibration: shame.  It feels icky.  So here is my challenge to you.  Start noticing the stories, the thoughts, the patterns you have around money.  It can feel uncomfortable and scary at first.  There will be a voice telling you that your big dreams, your visions for the way you want your life to look aren’t possible.  It’s ok to be scared.  Do it anyway.  Many times this is your wounded child showing up, vulnerable and small, because that’s the only way we know.  When this happens, love him/her up instead of trying to push this discomfort away, and then merge this wounded child with your higher vision.  Give all your fear, vulnerability, and limiting beliefs up to the divine, and watch yourself take off.