Shadow work + embodying the Feminine

shadow work

I don’t know about y’all, but 2013 kicked my ass.  As I mentioned here, it was a hear of lots of shedding.  A couple weeks ago I began looking back at this last year, thinking about where I was at this time a year ago, what I had wanted to accomplish, where I thought I’d be by now.  My first reaction was to be hard on myself, to judge, to step back into the “not enough” mindset.  I briefly got caught up in the pushing, forcing, and do-ing masculine energy of trying to make things happen, believing that I needed to make up that lost time before the end of 2013.  And then I realized this year has been an IMMENSELY deep dive into everything I thought I was, every role I’ve played, the joys, the traumas, all the layers of “shoulds” and “have-to’s”.  I had to clear all of that before I could begin walking the path I knew I was meant for.

ouroborus2

Here’s my crystalized lesson of 2013…

Every time I thought I had gotten to the essence of my soul, there was a whole new layer to work through, explore, and let go of.  A big theme for me this year was that of TRUST.  Mainly trusting myself.  Believing that I have all the knowledge I need to create the business, the life, and the relationships that I want for myself right now.  All I have to do is get out of my own way.  And the same goes for all of us.  So often we allow our shadow side, our own darkness, to keep us from being and doing what we really desire.  There’s some part of our ego that says we don’t deserve to have that life.  Or that we haven’t worked hard enough or done enough.

This year I not only met my shadow side, but I sat, played, danced and fought with, and finally loved my shadow.  She had always been lurking off to the side and I had done a pretty good job of ignoring her.  Now I invited her out front and center, looked her square in the eye, and said “Okay, whatever’s here, whatever lessons you have for me, I’m ready to face with compassion and an open heart.”  And here’s what I learned: Shadow work is INTENSE!  (Side note: it’s going to be a major part of my upcoming group program)  It requires crazy amounts of courage and strength that I didn’t know I had until now.  I got to finally learn what it meant to approach this inner work in a feminine, receptive, compassionate, and supportive strength.  And then I realized something huge…this is what I’m meant to teach other women.  So many of us have forgotten how to use our intuition, how to trust ourselves, how to ask for what we want, how to be gentle even as we’re moving mountains.  We don’t remember how to go inside, connect with our wildness and tap into that age-old wisdom that has been passed down through generations of mothers to their daughters in order to heal ourselves.  We don’t realize that each of us have every answer inside of our soul.  We have insanely wise inner guides, angels, whatever you want to call them.  It’s a process of relearning how to listen, how to trust, and align our actions with that inner wisdom.

I’m so grateful for the teachers and the time I had in 2013 who showed me, often against my own resistance, that the only way I could teach women how to honor themselves was by doing the deep work with my own wild soul, by acting from my intuition, and by embodying the sensual, earthy, and receptive feminine.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s always more work to do, more to learn, more to uncover and love about ourselves.  And I believe in cycles, in the ebb and flow, so now it’s time to put this into practice.  To build the container that will allow me to bring this wisdom to my community of wild and graceful women in the form of lots of free content, group programs, and intensive one-on-one coaching.  I can’t wait to better serve all of you now that I’m fully serving myself.  Happiest of new years to all of you…

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9 thoughts on “Shadow work + embodying the Feminine

  1. So I’m sitting here at my desk at work having just read your post, Katie. I have tears in my eyes. You wrote “crazy amounts of courage and strength that I didn’t know I had until now”. I know that feeling, it was the story of 2013 for me. I had to change my thoughts and believe that I deserve the good stuff whilst also wrangling with past trials that would just not go away until I had dealt with them. I had to greet my shadow like an old friend, rather than an enemy and trust myself. thank you x

  2. This may come as a huge surprise, but there are men out there that are doing much the same thing. Our society is changing. We are moving away from the paternalistic, “Let Daddy handle it” mode that stopped working some time ago. Many men are having to look inside and ask if they are really the person society has told them they should be. Many are getting the answer that they’re not. Keep in mind that women have a masculine aspect, and men have a feminine aspect as well. We have huge amounts of intuition also, and many are starting to realize that and make use of it. The transition is slow, but it’s happening. I personally think it’s going to take all of us to fix the mess we’ve gotten ourselves into, and it’s going to take a different perspective to pull it off. It’s going to be really interesting.

    1. I completely agree, Carl! I simply wrote this post as a reflection of my personal experience with my own femininity, but I absolutely see and appreciate the masculine and feminine in all of us and acknowledge the necessity of both. A male friend of mine said to me the other day that he doesn’t know what it means to be a man anymore because of the way society has told men they need to be. I thought it was incredibly beautiful that he could acknowledge that not only to himself, but also be vulnerable enough to say it out loud to me. Thank you for your thoughts!

  3. Great post Katie! I’ve definitely worked harder, cried more, transformed, evolved and celebrated more in 2013 than any other year I can remember. Going into the depths is quite the journey and I appreciate that you’re going to share your gifts w/women in this way. I hope that your vision is realized this year!

  4. Oh Katie, I left a lengthy reply but, the WP login killed it …lol…in short, thank you for the fab post. I hear you and travelled a similar path in 2013… What I learned after peeling the layers was that “I” run heavily in the masculine energy…frankly it drives me nuts that we are still labeling it this way…as Carl mentioned we all have both sides and for years I swallowed, hid and was ashamed of my driving energy because it was deemed “not feminine”. I am a driver, a rebel, a maverick, a risk taker, a builder and creator. I am also highly intuitive yet, I for years felt broken because I did not “fit” the standards identified for what makes a “woman” feminine. I am a woman, fully feminine and also fully capable, fiercely driven and wild inside…after the deep plunges in 2013 I now get to love, embrace and BE the feminine that is ME. Much love and appreciation for this post gorgeous! Xo

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this Penny! I wholeheartedly agree with both you and Carl, that the masculine and feminine are present in ALL of us whether we’re men or women, and that both should be honored. There’s a need for both. I think when we feel confident in expressing both in ourselves and allow ourselves to fully show up it manifests so beautifully, as I see that it does in you!

  5. Congrats, Katie! It’s so hard to fully embrace ourselves and I’m thrilled for you to reach that place of self love and understanding that leaves you feeling empowered to help others. You have so much to offer! The world better watch out.

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